Sunday, June 16, 2013

The Glass Kitchen

One of my favorite memories of my Dad was when I was about six or seven. Our family had traveled to St. Louis due to my grandmother's sudden serious illness. Since it was during the school year, after a couple of days and being assured my grandmother would recover, we left my mother and younger brother behind, and he and I drove back to Mississippi that weekend.  This was probably the longest amount of time I'd ever spent alone with my Dad to date, and it was unusual to have his full, undivided attention.  I got to sit in the front seat, of course, and I remember stopping at a Stuckey's and his buying me a little packet of novelty toys--the only one I now recall being a little plastic dog that smoked a tiny fake cigarette.  Anyway, we got into Vicksburg around 6:30 or 7:00 that evening, and as this was before we even had a McDonalds, I believe, the only place open was The Glass Kitchen on South Street downtown.  We went in, sat down, and he ordered me a grilled cheese sandwich, telling me he was sure I'd like it (he was right--even today it's probably still my favorite thing in the world to eat, although I don't indulge very often).  I got to pick my drink, so I had a 10 oz bottle of 7-Up. I remember it being the coldest, sweetest drink I'd ever had. 

This first "date" with my Dad remains one of my most favorite memories, not just of him, but of all my memories.  Not only because of his undivided attention for me, but because it was the first time I really paid close attention to HIM.  In fact, I remember feeling a little bit nervous and giddy sitting there in the restaurant, not quite sure what to say or do--like it really was a "first date" with someone you'd just met.  I don't remember what we talked about specifically, but I knew that I didn't want to ever leave.  

It's the only time we ever ate at that restaurant, even though it remained open well into my high school years. I remember returning there myself only once when I had a little part-time job at the bank across the street my senior year.  It still looked the same, with its open kitchen of glass and stainless steel and vinyl booths.  I ordered a grilled cheese and a 7-up, though. 

The photo attached is of Vicksburg artist Daniel Boone's now-famous print of the place--the only image of The Glass Kitchen I could locate anywhere on the internet. I actually also happen to own a copy of the print, which I purchased at the Attic Gallery years ago as a Father's Day gift for my Dad.  He immediately recalled our outing there, and I think was touched by the fact that it had been such a special memory for me, too.  It now sits in my own "retro-style" kitchen...a style choice which I am sure was influenced by my recollection of that place.  

I can't believe it's now been seven years since my Dad passed away. So tomorrow, in honor of that, I think I'm going to treat myself to a grilled cheese sandwich and see if I can't locate a bottle of 7-up to toast my Dad with.  
 

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

And judge me not

Last week, while trying to prepare for my first big step on what I hope will be a journey to find some peace of mind and healing for myself, the phrase "if I lay bare my soul" kept coming to mind. So like any good 21st centurian, I googled it, and while it (surprisingly) didn't pull up much (only 57 results--really?), most of them were references to a poem written in 2006 by a woman in England on her blog page--which page, incidentally, doesn't have much activity beyond that and a handful of other posts around that same time (much like my own blog page, in fact). Anyway, I was dumstruck by the power of this poem, and since it's National Poetry month, I thought I'd share it.


For me, the phrase "judge me not" really means, at least, "hate me not," and, at most, "love me still." And while I believe this is a core, universal desire we all crave from others, I am beginning to understand that it's a prayer most needed when speaking to myself.

JUDGEMENT
by Suzanne Thorne

If I lay bare my soul
Will you treat me gently
Accept my strengths and weakness
And judge me not.

If I open my heart
Will you see the love, the pain
Accept my fears, my passion
And judge me not.

If I share my mind
Will you listen to all my hopes, my plans
Accept my dreams
And judge me not.

If I show you the real me
Will you want to stay
Accept me for all that I am
And judge me not.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Untold

There's a story trapped within me
It will never be lived, much less even told
It will die with me.

Parts of it try to leak out here and there
Rumors fly, I am sure
But no one's really asking any questions

Some days it simmers and sinks down
Others it rumbles and boils
Rising like a geyser into my brain

I've acted it out hour after hour in my car
I've written it down over and over
But silence is the only audience it can ever hold

Between the lines, I wonder--
Why do secrets need telling,
And never moreso than when they can't be told?