Photographic Evidence

Camera never was my friend, at least not since 4th grade
Recently got rid of a lot of extra baggage,
So I tried making friends again with the lens
Big mistake...he’s pissed, apparently...because I SWEAR TO GOD that the photographic evidence has been doctored

It’s not just the lines and wrinkles...
It’s the hideous mask hanging over who I thought I was
I even adjusted the lighting...you know, all those great tricks to get the camera to see what you want it so see
But not this guy...he’s treating me to the full frontal reality:
I am old.

At Arm's Length

Afraid of my own foolishness
Never wanting to be a fool
No–wanting to be a fool,
But never wanting to be judged a fool

Quiet in the corner
Lest my open mouth expose my ignorance
Let them assume still waters run deep
When in fact they are dangerously, dangerously shallow–
"No Diving Allowed" should be legally required

Always an imitation of myself
Tough girl, together girl,
Good girl...with the curl in the middle of her forehead
Who can be so horrid, horrid, horrid

Every one is at arm’s length
Every feeling, stretched even farther away
Let sleeping dogs lie, and let my lies remain dormant
Say nothing...say nothing...admit to nothing

Middle-age crazy, worse than teenage angst
At least then, despair was irrelevant in the face of the extra time on the clock
No time like the present...it’s all that’s left
A gift horse with her mouth sewn shut

Muddied mind, mixed metaphors, meaningless except to me
What’s the point? I mean seriously, what’s the point?
Stay out of here...the mind’s a steel trap
Baited with honey and unfulfilled wishes.